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nopolicelikeholmesGreetings, newcomer, and welcome to Burby!
If you're reading this then you've just arrived here from somewhere else. Do not be alarmed, but this constitutes a permanent change in your situation - the impossible has occurred and there is now no way back to where you came from. Please take a seat and someone will be along momentarily to help you cope with that reality. In the meantime, this pamphlet will answer the most common of the many questions you no doubt have regarding your stay here.
"But I had something to do back home! A very important something!"
We're very sorry. At this time we cannot guarantee that time will not march on and that your loved ones will not presume you to be dead. However, we also can't guarantee that this will happen. Fairy - the larger geographic location within which Burby resides - may not be temporally connected to wherever you came from, so you could very well arrive home at the exact moment you left. That is, assuming that you do get home, which you probably won't.
"Did you say Fairy? You mean--"
Yes, THAT Fairy. The one of legends, where all the Fair Folk supposedly live. Whether you believe in it or not, the natives here certainly have some not-quite-human characteristics about them and they will occasionally toy with you. Whether or not you believe in magic, most of the natives and a significant portion of the other residents exhibit something that looks like it and has yet to be explained through science as I know it. You can also find many of the conveniences you're used to around here, but some days a pack of cigarettes will cost money and other days it will cost an hour of your life.
"When you say that I can't get home, exactly how unable to get home am I?"
In all honesty, people do occasionally disappear from here. I like to think that they go home, but they might also be going somewhere much darker and more terrible. Or maybe they're just lost in someone else's universe. In any case, I will allow that your probability of getting home is greater than zero, but there is nothing you can do to alter it in any way.
"Other universes...?"
One of the more fun things about Fairy is that sometimes you will end up somewhere else in much the same way you found yourself here. It will essentially be the same experience that you're having now - wandering around, completely lost and with no visible means of returning to anywhere familiar - but you'll be doing it on a spaceship or something. There's not a whole lot to do around here, otherwise, so it can be a welcome break from the monotony of small town life.
"Okay, I have developed some kind of coping mechanism and can function for the time being! What else should I know?"
Good luck.
If you're reading this then you've just arrived here from somewhere else. Do not be alarmed, but this constitutes a permanent change in your situation - the impossible has occurred and there is now no way back to where you came from. Please take a seat and someone will be along momentarily to help you cope with that reality. In the meantime, this pamphlet will answer the most common of the many questions you no doubt have regarding your stay here.
"But I had something to do back home! A very important something!"
We're very sorry. At this time we cannot guarantee that time will not march on and that your loved ones will not presume you to be dead. However, we also can't guarantee that this will happen. Fairy - the larger geographic location within which Burby resides - may not be temporally connected to wherever you came from, so you could very well arrive home at the exact moment you left. That is, assuming that you do get home, which you probably won't.
"Did you say Fairy? You mean--"
Yes, THAT Fairy. The one of legends, where all the Fair Folk supposedly live. Whether you believe in it or not, the natives here certainly have some not-quite-human characteristics about them and they will occasionally toy with you. Whether or not you believe in magic, most of the natives and a significant portion of the other residents exhibit something that looks like it and has yet to be explained through science as I know it. You can also find many of the conveniences you're used to around here, but some days a pack of cigarettes will cost money and other days it will cost an hour of your life.
"When you say that I can't get home, exactly how unable to get home am I?"
In all honesty, people do occasionally disappear from here. I like to think that they go home, but they might also be going somewhere much darker and more terrible. Or maybe they're just lost in someone else's universe. In any case, I will allow that your probability of getting home is greater than zero, but there is nothing you can do to alter it in any way.
"Other universes...?"
One of the more fun things about Fairy is that sometimes you will end up somewhere else in much the same way you found yourself here. It will essentially be the same experience that you're having now - wandering around, completely lost and with no visible means of returning to anywhere familiar - but you'll be doing it on a spaceship or something. There's not a whole lot to do around here, otherwise, so it can be a welcome break from the monotony of small town life.
"Okay, I have developed some kind of coping mechanism and can function for the time being! What else should I know?"
- You can find a place to stay for the night at the Rabbit Hole Inn. They'll let you stay there for free for a week, but after that they'll charge you. The accommodations there are quite comfortable, and some people even end up living there.
- During your stay here, try to avoid breaking the law. We may only have one police officer, but there are a burgeoning overabundance of consulting detectives. You will in all probability get caught, and when you do you will be locked in Chief Beifong's cupboard. With a bucket. And when you say something about "cruel and unusual punishment" she will just look at you like you're from Mars. So, seriously, just be good.
- Everyone here is very friendly, and some of them seem like they might be delusional. You don't have to subscribe to their realities. You don't even have to subscribe to the reality put forth in this guide. In fact, I don't - it's just a set of coherent but mostly un-testable ideas that seem to agree with my observations and make for a convenient and hopefully comforting worldview to present to the recently arrived. I encourage you to go out, make your own observations, and find your own reality.
Good luck.
